Quick Freewrite

after listening to some Em before going to bed, took a couple minutes to do a quick freewrite while i still had the eminem feel in me

my lyrics and spirit were not meant to be caged

they were meant to be vented and always replayed

and like the lottery rain i'll be up on the stage

i'll be up in your head like labotomied brains

you ought to be taught to be scared of the reins

cuz when you grab it and have it its hard to be trained

to be one of the best when you're put to the test

to drive it and ride it to the top of the crest

the top of the hill with that prize you find

gold with the weight of what you're worth inside

and in time i'll supersede my limits

but at the moment i'm hoping just to stay in the minute

the hour the second and finish as me

at the end of the day its so hard to just be

hard to just see to trust in the dream

to comprehend that my ends cannot be reached without He

that he is present in my sickest and silence

strength in my weakness he pluses my minus

summit i'm climbin i'm grinding it out

discovering life as i'm finding it now

~peace

lost in space

Don't you love it when you find a song and connect with it like "Man this is my song" like i wrote the words.

I love that acoustic version he performs on tour. I like this different feel on the album too, but in a different way. (this version's sped up which detracts from it)

Songs that i identify with so much almost make me frustrated like I shoulda wrote that! I shoulda rapped that verse! Makes you want to just jump on the back of that song and continue it...

i got all this frustration

don't know what they're saying

think they know but its just for show so God i just keep on praying

their words just brush right past me

inner voice keeps laughing

all is gone i know its wrong can't help but feel I just keep on crashing

i'm lost in that place

floating out in space

body's cold nobody knows stuck in that hole without a trace

waiting for you to find me

as the devil keeps climbing

the sun comes up and the dark subsides but i just keep on hiding

or is it now that i'm weaker

deaf from the bass of my speakers

conscience gone the faded psalms with blinders on so i just can't see ya

i'm on that dark side, where all those sharks hide

swim for life but as much as i try i can't seem to get my heart right.

sick of disbelief. their one sided comments.

disregard what i feel in my heart when in the end i'm just being honest.

I am that broken mirror. I feel my soul is dying

Alone with thoughts i keep to myself don't help even when i feel I'm trying

I know he's there but i just can't feel him

Miss the days I used to see him

Before bitterness came and conquered, past knowledge and reason.

My sense of self feels gone. replaced by one unknown

More on "Lasers" by Lupe coming

p.s

Wonderful find. Poets rise up, food for the soul.

beautiful art.

its amazing what we can end up finding while looking for something else. Last Friday while looking for a rapper that I've already forgotten I found instead a gem of an artist that became one of my top 5 favorites within the hour.

The video I found is "The Town" by Macklemore. Now there are two reasons why watching this video was an immediate breath of fresh air for the artist in me:

1.Macklemore. Unorthadox and although I know that his rhyming pattern and use of breath can annoy some, I find him instead to be an artist in the purest form. His rhyming pattern isn't built around a simple rhyming of two sentences following each other, its not conventional or straight forward, he's not looking for the word at the end of line a to rhyme with the last word of line b. This is why I feel like he's true in what he's writing. Uncompromising in his message, he values the story he tells and the poetry he's reciting more than the usual rhyming schemes that I feel jail many rappers. And I guess personally I've never had a huge problem with people who use their breaths a lot, I feel like it adds character and a type of dimensionality that isn't always heard in a straightforward delivery. Listening to Macklemore just reminds me of the poetry that led me to hip hop and how trapped I often feel by the bars of a song rather than writing spoken word. While I admit that not all of Macklemore's songs catch me, the ones that do strike something so deep for me as an artist.

2.The video. The first time I watched this video I was blown away. The camera action, smoothness, transitions, color, lighting, texture, all combine in a gorgeous way. (and I just can't get over that skyline)

Immediately after watching that video I followed up on other videos and his blog, and within the hour Macklemore had become solidified on my favorites list. The next video is a song he did after the death of Niehaus the Mariners announcer, that received a lot of media attention. His passion is so infectious and that third verse is the way a song should build. Its amazing, this video is a different producer and yet i'm floored by the visuals once again

The last video is one I just started watching recently. Again a different video producer and yet again I'm in love with the video. The texture is gritty yet highlights the different green shades in awesome ways. The water reflection shots are just cool and their irish clan marching and singing is just gangsta.

One thing that connects the videos for me is just how much they make Seattle seem so tight knit and homey. That's a testament to both Macklemore and his 3 incredible producers. Definitely makes me think of a change in scene which other songs haven't been able to do before.

Also make sure to check out the song Otherside, a song about his previous drug addiction. And after watching videos of his concerts I'm convinced that I've never heard another rapper sound so clear and smooth live.

His blog: www.bengalyucky.com

"This is what you make of it-we play to win, living, like we're under the lights of the stadium.

Fight until the day that God decides to wave us in. Until He waves us in."

Finding an artist/poet like Macklemore seriously gives me such joy. I know he'll be influencing the way I write soon and I'll be sounding a little more like him in some songs...but that's what great artists do right?

art is beautiful.

New Years

One of my many resolutions for 2011 is to have some kind of archive of all the verses I have written down in random places. I have at least 30 different entries in my phone's memo book of different songs written over the last year that I know will be lost once i switch phones, and I've thrown away countless scraps of paper that I've scribbled on. But seeing how what i write really captures the season of life i'm in I really wish I could look back on what I wrote back 6 years ago and see how I've grown. So here's to hoping that this blog will lead to a timeline of my growth as a musician and person in 2011.

12/30/2010

Song: As I Am-Diggy Simmons

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7hqO7mapXI

I love Diggy and his old school Lupe feel

Place: UCSD

Took a walk on campus just listening to music for a few hours. I miss campus so much at times, I don't think there's ever been a place that set me more free musically.

My walks are refreshin, my mind's detention

A session for reflection reminisce and recollection

Collecting fresh air with that kick snare

Potent combination make me say oh yeah

The cold air's biting to heat my mind's writing

in and out dimensions i can feel time sliding

slick like the rinks i used to toddler skate on

try to bring em back but those moments seem to stay gone

spray on with my varied verbal ammunition

ignite the light in spite of no one's really here to listen

driven, despite the fact that i be looking crazy

just to release the tension i been feeling lately

loosely strutting hands, cutting in the breeze

rarely are there moments i feel more true to me

currently my currency is fervently depleting

satan slithers into my sleep as i'm dreaming

i flee in the cold as he's mining for my soul

deeper diving fore my gold eventually turns to coal

so much truth in this night that i'm walking

steps seem slow but my thoughts be quickly jogging

Give me love give me pain give me sun give me rain

but don't give me gray that always seems to stay the same

let me fall let me fly let me laugh let me cry

but don't let me have this feeling that i didn't even try

passion is fuel constricted by my fears

roll call reject, detect none i'm not here

steer into my safe space where i tend to vacate

imaginarium i nestled dreams, my safe place

stare straight into lense-its about to end

the music vid life where i only live to vent

spent a good night breathing in rejuvination

until the next session its back to hybernation